For a very long time fear has been a constant in my life. Though the process called ‘raising’ I’ve been taught of many things to be afraid of.
When I was small I was told of all the things that can make you sick – too cold means flu, too hot means heat stroke, too sharp will make cuts and too high will give me bruises. So many things that would help me discover the world were not permitted. Deep down I think I knew, that only through my own trial and error I could learn about the world and that my survival instinct would not let me go beyond what’s safe, but my little mind wanted to please the Adults so I listened and lost many chances of experiencing the wonders of the world.
When I was a bit older and able to venture out on my own, I was told not to talk to strangers and to keep away from the unknown as there may be dangers hidden there so the fear grew and I unlearned how to make friends and started to say no to adventures make life interesting. In my heart I knew that if I looked at people and opportunities through the knowledge of my intuition, I would feel real dangers and could protect myself if needed, but by then the mind was stronger that the heart and I already believed the Adult way was true, so I lived in the world of distance and distrust.
Then I was told of the things I did that would make me unaccepted – having a different opinion, not pleasing everyone I meet and making choices for myself. I was told that if I were to be loved I needed to do things for people, even though those things were hurtful to me or went against my beliefs. And to be accepted I had to follow the crowd, even though I didn’t enjoy what they did and many times had to endure uncomfortable situations that I didn’t need to be in. But just like any human I longed for acceptance and needed love so I grew afraid that something I did or didn’t do would make me loose whatever little affection people were giving me.
As time went by I lost all my faith in the world and myself and couldn’t listen to the real dangers my heart was telling me about. The biggest danger was not living the life I was given and passing through it with regrets, but the fear was so blinding by then that I didn’t even see how incapacitated it made me. I didn’t even know I was afraid as the big and the little fears were hidden deep inside and were what I thought the way of life.
But everything that goes down must come up so the fears that were closed down in the box inside my soul started to ask for attention by destroying all that was dear and important to me. I was afraid, scared, terrified, but didn’t know the object of those feelings. I realized that the biggest fear is the one of the fear itself. I wanted to let go but it’s not easy to change what the mind was made to believe to be true. I begged my true heros – my Heart and my Soul to show me the way back to the faith in the process of life and trust in people.
Life is a journey and it cannot be a happy one if we’re blindfolded by untrue fears. If we have faith in the perfection of world experience we understand that there is nothing to be afraid of.
“Fear is learned so it can be un-learned. Love is the natural state of being”
(quote from ‘Miracles of Choice’)