What is the first experience of human connection when we come into this world? Loving gaze and caring touch of our mother as soon as we come out of the womb.
Instant unconditional love connection is being born between two human beings. Babies don’t understand the meaning of words spoken to them, but they feel all of the beautiful emotions flowing from their parents as they hold them, stroke their hair or back, cuddle them and look them in the eye.
And as kids grow, what do parents instinctively do when the child is upset, hurt or sick? They hold them. Without knowing, parents send loving, healing energy to their children without the need to talk, explain or analyse the problem.
Love is the most effective medicine in the world and touch is how we apply it.
Studies show that babies who were separated from their mothers and were not touched or cuddled do not develop as well as babies who were connecting with their adult carers on a regular basis. Even worse – there were many cases of newborns who died, when they did not receive caring touch at all …
On a physiological and biochemical levels touch regulates the heart rate and lowers blood pressure. It brings us into relaxed state of being, decreases the stress hormone, cortisol, which kills immune cells that combat disease. Touch activates the orbitofrontal cortex of the brain, areas associated with reward and compassion. Most importantly it releases a powerful drug naturally produced in your body called oxytocin – sometimes referred to as the “love hormone.”
Want some scientific research?
Listen to Professor Francis McGlone
It’s pretty sad that when we grow up and become adults we forget that gentle, caring, consensual, non-sexual touch is an important way to connect with other people. That looking someone deeply in the eye as we talk shows others that we listen and we are really there for them. That we SEE them, as the famous quote from ‘The Avatar’ says.
Human beings of all ages need touch and affection. We never outgrow it. Meanwhile, in this day and age, we connect through electronic devices, dating apps, selfies and random sexual encounters. Even if we want a deeper connection with someone we fall in love with or care about, we don’t know how to achieve it.
Because of increased exposure and penalties for sexual harassment cases (which I completely agree with – there is no justification for rape or unwanted physical contact), touch has became a social no-no, so a quick handshake is all we usually get from others. We’re afraid to look into other’s eyes, as if though we were invading their space. We don’t speak about our boundaries and are not told by others about their boundaries. Everything is in a bit of a grey area so we stay away, just to be safe …
We all need love and caring, we also have love to give.
So why not share it to create deeper connection with others? And I’m not talking about romantic love, or parental love or sexual love. Just basic love and kindness for another human being. I am talking about caring, consensual contact with others. I am talking about being open about our boundaries and clear about our wants and needs. This is how we can regain human connection and share unconditional love with others.
Sanskrit word ‘Namaste’ , often used in yoga or meditation communities, means:
I honour the place in you in which the Universe dwells.
I honour the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light, and of peace.
When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me …
We are One.
To understand this concept on a heart level and connect with others from that space in you, is why I created
You can experience it in a workshop or as a private session, where you receive and give attention, caring, love and simply learn how to connect with other people, with clear boundaries and respect.
- feeling loved
- feeling accepted
- feeling relaxed
- feeling happy
- learning how to say no and how to say yes
- regaining sense of belonging
- increased confidence in your relationships
- becoming confident in setting boundaries and asking for what you need
- holding hands
- looking others in the eye
- smiling at others
- hugs & snuggling
- hair stroking
- head on chest lap,
- spooning and more
All in non-sexual, consensual, respectful environment.
Join me for upcoming group workshops in Dublin or book a private session.
Private Session lasting 1 hour – cost is €60
Group Workshop lasting 3 hours – cost is €20 per person
Rules of participating in Loving Embrace Workshops and Private Sessions
- Arrive on time
- Bring a blanket and a pillow (for group workshop only)
- Wear comfortable clothing
- Clothes stay on the whole time
- No drugs or alcohol, period
- You don’t have to agree to any of the activities if you don’t want to
- Ask permission and get a verbal yes before touching anyone
- If you’re a yes to a request, say YES. If you’re a no, say NO
- If you’re a maybe, say NO
- It’s ok to change your mind.
- Respect, respect, respect
- Sharing is confidential. What happens in the workshop, stays in the workshop
- If you’re uncomfortable at any moment, please speak to the facilitator
*Photo 3,4,5 Credits: Linda Donegan www.kindireland.com